The Three S’s Of Self Parenting

By Ayasha Roberson

The Three S’s are one of the action “pieces” of Self-parenting. One of the objective of Self-parenting is to self-nurture so that you can feel Safe, Sane, and Secure in the world. As a child, you needed the protection of your ego defenses because you were to small, vulnerable, and naive to protect your Self; you couldn’t defend yourself against large, powerful adults who acted out in dysfunctional ways. But now you can consciously use your adult powers, which make your childlike ego defenses “obsolete.” As an adult you want to use your ego, not be used by your ego. The Three S’s integrate perfectly with emotional validation (above). For example: “Remember how scared you felt when (your caretaker screamed at you? You have my permission to feel scared now It’s safe for you to feel scared and angry now because I will use my adult powers to protect you; but I want you to know that it really wasn’t safe for you to feel your feeling when your (caretaker) yelled at you. You are emotionally secure now because I will always be here for you-to help you feel your feelings- of course you felt that way -how else could you feel when you had to stand there as a little with choice but to take that abuse?”

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