I graduated from college in 2002 with a bachelor’s degree in Sociology. It took me 5 years to complete my degree (which is very normal nowadays), however the 9-11 attacks had happened the semester before I graduated. As a result, I was not able to find a job in New Jersey or New York due to the widespread hiring freeze. I had to move back home with my parents which was fine at the time. I don’t think my parents at the time were expecting me to be on my own so quickly either. However, I had a job “waiting for me” when I graduated from college. I worked for Northeast Community Center Mental Health Day program. I didn’t make that much working, so parents didn’t charge any rent. My paycheck was $650.00 every other week and about four years later I moved out of my parents’ house to live on my own.

My financial situation changed unfortunately, and in 2007 I had to move back in with my parents which turned out to be an absolute nightmare. I was making more money as I worked the overnight shift at Monmouth Medical Center and travelled from Philadelphia to Long Branch, NJ. It was an hour and half commute one way. I lived with parents from November 2007 to November 2009. Honestly, I wouldn’t wish this experience on my worst enemy. My shift hours were from midnight to 8am, 5 days a week, and I worked every other weekend. Sometimes I would have to take the longer way home from work so that I didn’t have to pay for tolls. I would take the non-toll route to get home which took at least a half-hour more and longer if there was an accident or roadway construction. My 90-minute ride would turn into a two-hour drive home. I just thank God I didn’t fall asleep on the road. I would be so tired I would get off of 195, then drive to the Barnes & Noble parking to lot to rest for 30 minutes or so before continuing my drive home.

My mom is an accountant by trade and at the time she was working for City of Philadelphia. I can’t remember her exact title, but she was at an executive level position and ran her own accounting business on the side. My dad worked full time for the United States Postal Service. There was income coming into the house. I was making more money than before, but I had a long commute and a more stressful job as Psychiatric Screener. My mom charged me rent of $650.00 to live at home. Half of the money she was supposed to be saving and the other half she could use however she wanted. But she wasn’t saving my money. She was spending it. And when it was time for me to move out I had no money to move out with. One several occasions when I would only pay half of the $650 or pay it later in the month, she would add on a late fee. I was struggling more by living at home than if I lived on my own.

In addition, I wasn’t allowed to eat any food in the refrigerator because it wasn’t my food. It was for the rest of the house and I wasn’t included as part of the household. I had to purchase my own food and cleaning products from the supermarket. At the time, I probably was bringing home about $1,200 bi-weekly, but with tolls, gas, and repairs on my car, it was difficult for me to keep up with the required rent payments. My mom had created a lease contract for me which I no choice but to sign. The whole point of moving home was trying to save my money, but every time I turned around, I was spending more and more money. My sister didn’t live at home, but wad in Maryland at the time, she would come back to our parents’ house almost every weekend to brag about everything she was doing and the things I wasn’t doing. I think it was an attempt to make me feel jealous or insecure, but it just made me not want  

to be around her. I was already not close to my sister, and that actually made it worse.

My sister and I never really had a strong relationship due to my sister’s jealously and insecurity towards me. I didn’t want to attend my sister’s graduation in Maryland, but I did because my parents had a fit. I didn’t want to be around my sister’s or parents’ negative energy at the time. I had to bite the bullet and attend my sister’s graduation ceremony.

Around that time, my mom told me that she was going to pay for my dad and sister to go to the Caribbean as a graduation present for my sister’s master’s degree. If I wanted to go, I would have to pay for it on my own. I didn’t have any additional money to pay for the trip. I didn’t even want to go, so I stayed home. I didn’t want to be around their negativity energy, but as it turned out they never went.

Living under my parent’s roof as an adult was total chaos for me and I didn’t enjoy the experience at all. My mom didn’t want me living in her house and she made that quite clear. In addition, my mom has control issues, and wants me to do everything that she tells me to do, but when things don’t go according to plan, she will throw everything into my face. When I lived with my parents, I was extremely depressed. At the time, the only outlets I had were attending church service and going to the hair salon.

My dad was around, but he didn’t say much about the way my mom behaved. My dad just wanted peace and quiet, but mom treated me like crap. Towards the end of 2009, I couldn’t pay the rent anymore and by October my mom gave me 30-days’ notice to move without any money. My dad came to my rescue at the end, providing me with money to move out of the house, which was a blessing and I haven’t been moved back since.

I have been on my own since 2009. It’s been a struggle at times, but I’ve gotten through it. I want to encourage if you live with your parents and you think are going to spend the rest of your life there. I am living proof to let you know that this too shall pass. Yes, it is a struggle trying to make ends meet, as I work three jobs and run my own business. I am an individual who graduated from high school, went straight to college, has both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree, and I work like I have five children. I am still single and unmarried, which is alright because everything has worked in God’s plan. For me, it is all about divine timing. I would rather wait on God instead of taking matters into my own hands. I struggle enough on my own and I don’t need to add any additional variable to my life.

I am sharing my story with you to help encourage you and keep your eye on the prize. It does appear on social media, TV, at school and even on the workplace that everyone’s got it together. But the reality is that everyone has problems, no exceptions. It is a part of life and it’s all about how you cope with your issues. I do not have it all together. I am a work in progress as I work on being a better ME.

I pray that you have really enjoyed reading about my experience living with my parents as an adult. Make sure you are back next month for the next edition premiering on Saturday, March 7th at 11am ET. Just remember if God is for you, who can be against you? I love you, have a good weekend, and God Bless.





About The Author


Ayasha Roberson started Urban SociaLites, LLC in June of 2010, she holds a bachelor degree in Sociology from Richard Stockton College and Masters Degree in Administrative Science from Fairleigh Dickinson University.

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