Style and Soul

… where real-life issues and fashion come together

Seasonal Versus Forever

Hey loves, please forgive me, I know I promised pictures of outfits this week, but due to the fact that I am currently a last minute person (working on that), I couldn’t take my pictures due to the snow. Instead, my inspiration for this week comes from some things I’ve been going through… I hope this reflection blesses you all.

Because of the complex nature of people, friendships go deep… they go deeper than I can fully comprehend at this point, certainly much deeper than I can cover on this blog, and obviously way deeper than clothing. However, I dare to make this comparison as both fashion and friendships are relevant to my life as well as the life of any sound-minded fashionista. So we have some articles of clothing that are classic, timeless, and made of quality. Items such as a well made cashmere sweater, quality vintage items, a classic and sturdy blazer, etcetera. These articles may be enjoyed forever. They will always be “go to”, “can’t go wrong” items in your closet that you can rely on to be stylish and put together on any day. Forever friendships are like that; quality, timeless, and to be enjoyed forever given the proper attention and care. Both quality friendships and quality clothing need the following to last: care and maintenance. Friendships will be tested and they will require effort at times. Like all relationships, they are “give and take” and you must invest time and energy into them in order for the relationship to function and not fizzle. If there is only one person reaching out or attempting to maintain the friendship, that person may as well move on and focus on themselves and what they have going on in their life without the so called friend. Otherwise, they will become frustrated and resentful besides have to deal with the hurt feelings that come along with rejection. Love yourself and move on if you’re in this situation. Reflect on how you can do better, whether it be in life in general or relationships specifically. Take your lesson and apply it. Come out new and improved with more knowledge and insight into what you want, what you need, what you are willing or unwilling to tolerate and who you are.

Speaking of moving on, seasonal relationships have their place in our lives as well. I like to compare them to fashion trends for the sake of this post. Seasonal, or trendy friendships exist for a period of time and for a specific purpose. They are what we need for a moment. These relationships can help us grow, they can comfort us through trials, they can entertain us, and so on and so forth, however, they are destined to fizzle and we need to accept that. Mullets, for example, had their time and when I see someone rocking one 9 times out of 10 I cringe because it’s just not right anymore. Trends are to be embraced for their season, and let go when their time is through. They may come back, but they usually are not of the “forever friend” relationship or classic fashion caliber. It is important that we do not confuse the two types of friendships or fashions. If we do we are setting ourselves up for unnecessary pain, rejection, and fashion don’ts. There are exceptions, however like military style and leopard print which started out as trends and have made their way to forever fabulous. Hallelujah, I’ve always been partial to both looks.

Relationships need communication. Without it, you may mistake a forever friendship for a seasonal one and throw away a quality relationship that would have otherwise benefited you and the other party for years due to a misunderstanding that comes from a lack of communication. In order to effectively communicate, one must communicate with the true will to understand. If you do not communicate with a willingness to understand, you are just exchanging words in a vain pursuit to be understood. What’s the worth of being understood if you don’t understand? How will any relationship grow if each party is on the selfish mission to be understood only, not considering the feelings and perspective of their friend? And by the way, how can you have a fabulous look without making a statement?

All relationships are not only meant to be enjoyed but they are meant to grow you. I would be wrong to speak on what is needed for a relationship to function if I failed to mention that they require sacrifice… sacrifice of your time, sometimes your resources as you share with your friend, and also sacrifice of your comfort level as sometimes relationships require maintenance. Sometimes we need to “air stuff out”. This process can be annoying and uncomfortable. However, communication is absolutely necessary to maintain quality friendships. Consideration is equally important. Communication and consideration go hand in hand and applying both can ensure that misunderstandings do not hinder us from enjoying wonderful friendships that will bless our lives.

In regard to wardrobes and fashion, some things you just need to let go and some you should hang on to. It’s important to understand which are worth hanging on to and which you need to let go. Some relationships or items of clothing will take space in your life or closet, hindering your growth in life and style. Some relationships can take you to the next level in life, and some key classic pieces in your wardrobe will bring your outfit to the next level. Hold on to quality and leave the trend alone once it has run its course for its appointed season. Be thankful for both seasonal and forever and know the difference.

Peace and love.

– Lady K

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